the hunt for red february

12 Feb

I was browsing the kitchen cabinet in my house, and saw a spider. Normally, I’m not afraid of a spider though slightly creeped out, but this was different. I looked at its body, which was quite round as a tiny bowling ball. A moment later, I saw a flash of the red hourglass on its belly. A black widow. At the edge of the cabinet, two spider skeletons. I recall the spider’s uncanny habit of eating its mate. I do pray that won’t be my fate when I’m in a relationship, sucked dry of emotions and dollar bills with my remains as a warning to forlorn single men about being in love with the wrong woman.

So I did the most practical thing; I procrastinated. I only placed a strip of orange post-it with “black widow sighted” written. That was a week ago.


Today, I was curious. I opened the cabinet and there was some resistance. The spider had already spun a lot of web since then. To feel the strands snapped as I pulled the door creeped me out. The spider scurried about two inches back but still was standing there as if upset with me for ruining its web. I closed it and became resolved in removing this black widow for good.

Moments later, I approached the cabinet wearing yellow kitchen gloves and a jacket. In my hands were a fly swatter and a Radio Shack flashlight, which also doubled as a microscope (30x).

I opened the door widely, and the spider moved a little, still maintaining its distance from me. I tried pounding on it with edge of the flyswatter like a hammer, but it scampered underneath the pan. So I removed the pan along with other kitchenware, and figuring some visual would help in this post, took a snapshot. Then having ample room, I swatted it twice. It was still moving, and to speed its demise, I swatted it and pounded the edge of the flashlight on its body. I did take another snapshot, but I refuse to post it on here; no need to get anymore graphic. I picked it up with a tissue, gave it a squeeze making sure it’s long gone, and threw it away in an outside trashcan.

In hindsight, I could have used the microscope and examined its corpse, but that would have been morbid.


 Moral: This is what happens when you buy a woman the wrong lingerie.


3 Responses to “the hunt for red february”

  1. sensiwarrior March 10, 2013 at 2:33 pm #

    Try having black widows as pets with at least nine baby eggs at any given stage. You get used to it ! Lol

    • Dan Lee Kim March 24, 2013 at 9:43 pm #

      I had a fleeting thought of capturing it in a jar. Keyword: fleeting. Because after that thought, I repulsed in horror.

      • sensiwarrior March 24, 2013 at 10:02 pm #

        Lol, trust me, they err ugly!

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